“Um, aren’t you going to suck on the head?” I blurt out in disbelief, suddenly feeling like a spotty-faced teenager as I realize my ineptitude.
“No, I don’t do that,” she says, crawling onto her hands and knees on the bed, then bunching a pillow together and pushing it under her stomach.
I’m in a mild state of shock. No woman I can think of has refused to suck my cock. Those lips are not going near my bell-end, I know this now. This is most unexpected and unwelcome too.
My emotions cycle quickly through the stages of shock but I’m left mostly angry. Why does this sort of thing keep happening to me? In that moment it seemed that Travel Gal was not The One.
Snap out of it. There’s a naked woman on all fours wiggling her arse at me. Make the most of this situation. To borrow a South African rugby expression, I should ‘go for the gap”. I’ll go for her gap alright.
This pose that she’s assumed strikes me yet again as being something odd. Again she’s averting eye-contact, looking away from me, facing the headboard. The pillow tucked under her belly I’ve only ever seen in a manual for advanced sexual techniques. Either she’s a natural or has had an educated lover in the past or she’s read the same manual as me. The latter option I discount in my head because I don’t recall there being a chapter about being a cock-teaser.
Maybe this is what she does: she gets men all worked up, then disappoints them which results in angry sex. Is that it, she wants angry sex? Let’s find out…
I position myself behind her and slide a finger into her pussy. It’s like a white chocolate fountain in there, she’s that wet. It’s also a bit like the Royal Albert Hall, a cavernous space. I can easily fit two fingers in her pussy. Either she has had sex recently, or had a lover with an enormous cock or has had many, many cocks in her pussy. My trust demon springs up in his cage. Down boy. Maybe she has a vibrator as big or bigger than Tech Titan’s Purple Pussy Eater? I’ve learned that almost every woman has a vibrator or two stashed away in her bedroom, usually in the bottom shelf at the back of something, either in a box or a fabric bag with a drawstring.
Fuckit, I can feel myself going soft; I need to keep moving. I pull my fingers out of her and she doesn’t make a sound. I move closer on my knees and slide my cock into her. Travel Gal makes a slow sound of approval, but I’m struggling to feel much because this pussy is spacious; too spacious. If I was wearing a body bag for my cock I’d feel nothing for sure.
I start rocking my hips but I still don’t feel much. Shit, I’m going to go soft and then it’s awkward talk time, something along the lines of “don’t worry, it happens to all men from time to time”. I don’t need that pity-party going on. I know, I’ll get naughty and see what happens.
Raising a hand to my face I suck on my thumb. I wonder how she’s going to react to this? Will she baulk like a bronco and catapult me off the bed? She’s a sophisticated country lady, this might be new to her, so there’s no telling how she’s going to react. I am curious though…
I gently slide my wet thumb up her bum as my cock rhythmically flails about in her pussy. Travel Gal doesn’t move or make a sound. Most woman would tense up at this surprise anterior intrusion, but not her, she stays relaxed. My thumb slid easily into her arse and I could swivel it around if I wanted. Having something in her arse was nothing new to her. It was the most spacious arse my thumb has ever been in. Was anal sex her thing?
Wait a second…maybe that’s why she won’t suck my cock?! She’s used to having a cock in her arse and therefore won’t suck on one. Could that be it? She thinks the tips of dicks are dirty? Well, they are, given their variety of uses, but I’m not arguing that case. In my head I start debating this possibility.
While I’m indulging in my penile monologue I fail to notice that she’s close to another orgasm. It’s only when she starts making louder sounds that I snap out of my errant orbit.
Travel Gal cums with a scream that she propels into a pillow that I didn’t notice her grab and put in front of her face. Has she done that before too? I know that we’re all second-hand lovers, but some of her moves are new to me and I consider myself very well read.
Reality check: She came while I fucked her pussy and had my thumb up her bum. This prim and proper country lady likes it dirty. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but I need to cum too. I can analyze this later.
I haven’t let go of her and she’s still in position. My turn now.
Travel Gal is now more vocal, uttering that classic immortal line of “oh yeah”, almost chanting it like a mantra every my cock slams into her. As the front of my thigh slaps a buttock, each time she mutters “oh yeah”, over and over again. Her pussy has tightened and somewhat clamped itself around my shaft. She starts to feel good.
There I was, one of her big breasts in my hand, my cock in her pussy and a thumb up her arse…and she was loving it. This is not what I expected of her, but it’s probably not what she expected of me either.
Shall I be really naughty and put my cock in her arse and pump my cum into her there? It’ll easily fit; her arse is looser than most women’s pussies. No, after the anal sex incident with Krazy Girl I swore I won’t do anal again. I was fretting about it for months afterwards, scrubbing myself raw in the shower in a frenzy of pointless angst, driven by the fear of AIDS.
Remembering that Sunday morning with Krazy Girl leads to the memory of the time I fucked Tech Titan in the arse because it’s what she wanted too and…oh, I think I’ve just cum…
Yes, the greatest sexual organ is indeed the brain.
Travel Gal wriggles off The Hook, grabs a robe strategically hanging from the back of the door and minces off to the bathroom down the short hallway. A minute later she rejoins me and we cuddle up, making polite pillow talk until she drifts off away from me. I lie blinking at the stars who, through a gap in the curtains, were watching us and they blink back as my mind races, as I try to make sense of what just happened.
She wouldn’t suck my dick, that’s for certain. I can see us having this conversation:
Why Blowjobs Are More Intimate Than Sex
The next morning she stirs and goes downstairs to let her dog do his morning ritual in the back yard. I guess it’s part of her routine to rise early and just keep going because without much being said she goes downstairs and starts making us breakfast. I get dressed, give her a hug and kiss before going to my car to get my dirty weekend bag. I shower and ready myself for what I’m thinking is an unpredictable day.
Breakfast is one of the best full English breakfasts I’ve ever had. She’s quite good in the kitchen. Then we go for a walk around her hamlet, allowing the dog to do his thing. Even out in the boonies people are expected to pick up their dog’s shit. I watch Travel Gal expertly wrap a plastic bag around her hand and bend over, scooping her pooch’s pooh into her hand before pulling the bag over it and tying it up before dropping it in what must be the only doggy droppings bin for miles. She does this twice a day? How does this square up with my notion about her and anal sex?
We spend the day watching slushy romantic comedies such as ‘The Holiday’. Travel Gal has a romantic side to her. I can see it because I have it too. Sitting cuddled on the sofa seems like the logical thing to do as it’s another miserable, cold Winter’s day. I’m aware of not feeling the urge to go back to bed, but I’m also conscious of the fact that we haven’t said a word at all about last night’s sexual encounter.
Travel Gal makes an impressive dinner before we walk the dog one more time. The hands that cooked that meal pick up dog shit twice daily? Does it follow that the cock that goes in her arse will not go in her mouth? She will not eat shit. Is that what’s going on in her head?
Darkness overwhelms day and I make my excuses about leaving. She has to work the next day and I don’t want to overstay my welcome, that’s what I tell her. Her mouth smiles but her eyes don’t. We kiss passionately at her front door. I get the impression that she doesn’t want me to go, but I have to.
I get into my car intent on driving back to London…because I have another date lined up. It’s with the Russian MILF. I’m giving her a chance to redeem herself after our unsavoury first date. We should be good together, that’s what OKCupid’s system indicates, so maybe a second date will be better? I wonder if she’ll smell pussy on me? I drive for a little while until I have a signal for my phone. The Russian MILF has sent me a WhatsApp message saying that she can’t make tonight because she’s ill. The next message she sends me has a photograph attached. It’s of her and some guys at a fancy-dress party and her caption reads: “Me at a party last night”.
Well enough for a party last night but not well today? She can just fuck off. I can easily replace her. I respond with “Ok, no problem.”
What are these women like? Okay, I won’t lie, a part of me is enjoying the unpredictable nature of this dating life. It’s certainly stretching my boundaries, perceptions and beliefs about life, women, relationships and sex. However, I feel that it’s coming at a price whereby I don’t feel enriched by it all. Instead I feel that a part of me is slowly dying and being replaced by something I don’t recognize.
I drive home hearing the “oh yeah” chants of Travel Gal echoing in my ears.
Yello – Oh Yeah